Last Sunday was my 29th wedding anniversary. This Saturday my middle child will graduate from high school. Yes, this middle child was the child of my middle years. He was the start of my 'new family' with the same old husband (for those who asked). Many of my girlfriends now have empty nests, and can no longer relate to the daily routines of homework, curfews, sports practices and alarm clocks for kids that won't get up. But my life is very full.
And at this point, I couldn't imagine it any other way.
This past September was the first noticeable milestone. My three youngest babies, were driving themselves to school. So it took me a full week of quiet mornings to figure out that no one was going to complain about the radio being set to NPR and the volume was turned down low. No one was going to run down the street after my car, waving the regulation uniform shirt and tie that they should've had on their body, trying to hitch a ride to school - and be on time. And the silence - it was deafening. It had actually been a full 25 years since I had driven to work without a child in my car. It felt like a guilty pleasure - almost better than chocolate.
My life with this husband has been filled with many exciting adventures. The children are certainly a major part of those adventures. But not all the days or nights have been centered around them. Now that the youngest children are becoming more independent, husband and I are building a new social life. We are starting with each other. The big social network has waned over the years. Sometimes is was because five kids were too many to invite. Later, it was just too hard to be friends with all the parents of all of my children's friends. The 11 year span between the first and last was too wide. So, we start from scratch. Now, we sneak off together, and relax into adult conversations that don't revolve around the topics of children. This is re-discovery time.
My husband is not the chatty type. His attention for conversational detail is extremely limited. Once, he told me he "used up all 5 hours of conversation I have in me: on our first date."
Another time, his mother had told me that her sister-in-law (my husband's aunt) had died. When I relayed the news to my husband, he responded with "I don't listen to second hand news. It is usually not true." So, since the dead woman couldn't speak for herself, and the news was coming from my Mother-in-law to me, to my husband, I guess third hand news was gossip in his mind.
There have been many phone calls over the years that could be described as ....concise. "Hello, My flight is leaving in three minutes. How are you, the kids, life?" "Got to go." "Love you." And once again, St. George would be off to slay another dragon to keep the kingdom safe.
And I, Princess Storyteller, will wait for next Friday night, when St. George and I can escape to our own little kingdom. There, I expect we will share a few new, and a few old stories (and maybe a drink or two). It will be our contribution to keeping the kingdom happy for another 29 years.
I hope.
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2 comments:
Good morning my dear sweet friend. This blot made me cry as a mother you made me laugh... those guilty quiet drives are so far and few between but priceless.
You are so blessed to have a husband that through the hectic life style still remained faithful and loyal to you. Our days are so busy and filled with "stuff". But there is nothing like having the years ahead that your children will be able to come home and be a complete family with you.
As you do, continue to keep God centered in your lives ahead and know how blessed you are! I would do anything to have a life style where my children can be proud of their parents as a couple and want to mirror them someday. God is good all the time! I love you.
The only thing better than family, are the girlfriends that know your heart, share your tears, laugh at life's ironies with you, and are close enough to (bible) slap you when you step out of line. I bless the day Maryellen introduced me to you, and your family (at the YMCA). Our children call each other siblings, they consider each of us their 'mother's' - each with different gifts and purposes.
We: you, me, Maryellen, (and others) have cruised through the last twelve years, by marking the weeks in Fridays on the beach, watching our children grow, play, and learn as we compare notes.
I wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, and by the way, you, and yours will be there at the same dinner table with all those grandchildren. So what are you bringing? the dessert?
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