Friendship Rings

"Make new friends

and keep the old

one is Silver

   and the other Gold."

      I remember my first friendship ring. It was a silver band with "forget me not" flowers embossed all the around my finger. I must have been 11, or maybe 12.  It was my first permanent friendship. Oh, I had friends before. One was Beth Gordon, who was in my 3rd grade class and attended my 9th birthday party. 

 She and I laughed like hyena's until our sides split. I remember she had a wonderful sense of adventure, red/blonde hair, and freckles like me. But she moved away, before school started again, and no one replaced her for a long time.

   There was another girl, Susan DiNardo. She lived a few houses away from me. Susan and I would walk to public school together in first grade. We would stop at Jane and Jerry Lerner's house to pick them up, so we could all watch out for each other, on our treacherous, one mile journey without adults. Small town life, how lucky we were! In second grade, Susan and I transferred to Sacred Heart School. There was a school bus that came to our street corner. So there was no need to walk home, for at least a few more years. Friendship then was based on mutual need. 

    The girl with the ring, was vivacious. She was all the things I wasn't. She was cool, daring, brave, warm and friendly. She was accepting, and tolerant. She knew her way around the neighborhood. She wasn't afraid to talk to boys. She had Beatles' records and knew all the words. She knew how to dance. Together we learned about independence by taking the '20 bus' to Menlo Park Mall and buying nail polish at the Woolworth's 5 and dime store. I remember she always had confidence. To me she was the leader, and I was glad to follow her. I always thought she was pretty, with long flowing hair that would swing when she ran. She had a gracefulness that was like a doe, soft footed and quick. And her laughter ----who could forget that laughter? When you heard it, you couldn't help but join in. Later, after growing up together, and then growing apart, it was the laughter that brought us back together again. But what originally cemented the friendship was the ring. And at 12, a ring was pretty important.

    After watching my own daughters forge their way in the world of girls, I reminisced the  importance of that friendship and the ring. I can't pin point the first time she and I decided we were friends, or remember what the issue was that had us go separate ways. But the path was winding, and shaded with many life experiences. And like all rings, the circle had no real beginning or end. But the ring was a statement of  belonging. It closed us into our own little world of safety and security. Within that circle I have so many memories. I remember laughter, and adventures, tears and frustrations, and the feelings one would expect to have for a sister. 

   Today, I celebrate my circle of friends. And I am grateful for the chance to delve back into that particular circle once again. I am older now, hopefully wiser, and certainly a lot richer for having had these friendships. I am counting on more laughter, more adventures, and a sacred sharing of tears and frustrations in the days to come. I no longer have that friendship ring, as it has gotten lost with time. But what I do have, is a ring of friends that grows as I grow. And besides, now that I am not so small anymore, I need more room to fit in anyway.