29 years and counting

Last Sunday was my 29th wedding anniversary. This Saturday my middle child will graduate from high school. Yes, this middle child was the child of my middle years. He was the start of my 'new family' with the same old husband (for those who asked). Many of my girlfriends now have empty nests, and can no longer relate to the daily routines of homework, curfews, sports practices and alarm clocks for kids that won't get up. But my life is very full.

And at this point, I couldn't imagine it any other way.

This past September was the first noticeable milestone. My three youngest babies, were driving themselves to school. So it took me a full week of quiet mornings to figure out that no one was going to complain about the radio being set to NPR and the volume was turned down low. No one was going to run down the street after my car, waving the regulation uniform shirt and tie that they should've had on their body, trying to hitch a ride to school - and be on time. And the silence - it was deafening. It had actually been a full 25 years since I had driven to work without a child in my car. It felt like a guilty pleasure - almost better than chocolate.

My life with this husband has been filled with many exciting adventures. The children are certainly a major part of those adventures. But not all the days or nights have been centered around them. Now that the youngest children are becoming more independent, husband and I are building a new social life. We are starting with each other. The big social network has waned over the years. Sometimes is was because five kids were too many to invite. Later, it was just too hard to be friends with all the parents of all of my children's friends. The 11 year span between the first and last was too wide. So, we start from scratch. Now, we sneak off together, and relax into adult conversations that don't revolve around the topics of children. This is re-discovery time.

My husband is not the chatty type. His attention for conversational detail is extremely limited. Once, he told me he "used up all 5 hours of conversation I have in me: on our first date."

Another time, his mother had told me that her sister-in-law (my husband's aunt) had died. When I relayed the news to my husband, he responded with "I don't listen to second hand news. It is usually not true." So, since the dead woman couldn't speak for herself, and the news was coming from my Mother-in-law to me, to my husband, I guess third hand news was gossip in his mind.

There have been many phone calls over the years that could be described as ....concise. "Hello, My flight is leaving in three minutes. How are you, the kids, life?" "Got to go." "Love you." And once again, St. George would be off to slay another dragon to keep the kingdom safe.

And I, Princess Storyteller, will wait for next Friday night, when St. George and I can escape to our own little kingdom. There, I expect we will share a few new, and a few old stories (and maybe a drink or two). It will be our contribution to keeping the kingdom happy for another 29 years.

I hope.

Everything Will Turn Out Fine

So, we went to Disney World! It was the birthday of the twins. Imagine, being almost 40 and you have this dream...there is a booming, deep voice in your dream that says, "You are going to have twins." And in my dream I screamed "AHHHHHH!!!HHHAHHHHH!"

Then the deep voice in the dream said "But everything will turn out fine."Now, 16 years later, everything has been fine, in one way or another. My babies are now 16. I remember 16 - I remember that birthday, and how I celebrated it. Will they? The twins: a girl and a boy.

She wanted to go to the place where dreams are made. The place of princesses and fairy tale

endings. There were castles, and roller coasters, bright colors, and lots of laughter. All this for the little girl, who always had a serious side, when it came to work. She was the only one of my brood, that I found in bed at age 5, with self made flash cards, to practice "reading words" for kindergarten. Such drive, such determination! The same little girl wore Easter bonnets, bows in her hair, mini purses and matching shoes. She played with twin baby dolls, decided in first grade, where she wanted to go to college - and started saving her birthday money for it. This little girl, is closest to my heart in disposition and appearance. She is smart, strong willed, and determined. She doesn't want anyone to see her cry, and she will go to great lengths to hide her sad or worried feelings. She would give you anything she thought you needed, including directions for your life. She follows her dreams and works hard to make sure she is followingthe right ones, not just what the crowd is doing.Tucked inside her heart, is a strong leader just waiting for the right cause.

She is my Joan of Arc. I have complete faith and confidence in her. But most of all, she loves deeply. She is honest and faith filled. Her smile brightens up my day. I live for her hugs. This is the child who will stand her ground, no matter what the consequence, through every emotion a disciplining parent could feel. That is until, you hug her and tell her she's safe, and you love her.

Then she melts.

One of my favorite pictures is of her at age 3. She was wearing an apron, with a chocolate batter-covered wooden spoon in hand. Then, she was 'helping' me make cupcakes. Now, she rules the kitchen with Epicurean delights.

So, here is one of my babies with the face I love. We did something very unusual for us. We planned to spend the day at the Disney World park and took advantage of the Disney World discount of "free on your birthday" pass. We went to the Magic Kingdom and spent the day doing rides, food, and photos. In this photo, a salesperson had just decorated my husband and 'baby' with mouse ears. We skipped "it's a small world" but did Space Mountain, and other rides, using a special fast pass to avoid lines and crowds. It was a fun day.

What do I see in this photo? I see faces that I love. And one is of my baby. I still remember the day he was born.

He was so cute. I had no idea the joy he was about to bring into my life. He is patient, kind, loving and curious. He is my baby, and yet, I never really saw him as a baby in the sense of being dependant or clingy. He has always had his own mind, curious and thoughtful. His heart is pure and honest. He craves a just world. He has always been willing to share his "space" in life with his siblings. Yet, he reigns larger than life in my world. What a gift he is!

And the other face in my photo, I know that face so well. I know the eyes, the nose, the smile, the glance. I know almost everything about him. And yet, after 29 years, I know nothing. But on this day, he gave up his busy routine to salvage one more memory of our babies childhood. On this day, he too was a childlike in his joy - that is, except in the Tiki House - where he was Dad again, and fell asleep when the lights went low. But, even children need naps, don't they? So, deep voice: everything did turn out just fine!